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Trump Issues Executive Order Reversing All Vasectomies

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Telling reporters that the move would do much to combat low U.S. fertility rates, President Donald Trump issued an executive order Friday reversing vasectomies nationwide. “We’re requiring all men to head to their doctors and have them undo these terrible, terrible procedures,” the president said in an address from the Oval Office in which he clarified that men over the age of 18 would be given 60 days to have their reproductive ducts reconnected or face imprisonment. “Go to your urologist, get them to make a small cut

just a little cut on the scrotum—and put all that stuff back together. There will be some pain, but we want our men blowing full, beautiful loads to make the country’s future bright. America’s vas deferens will be the envy of the world.” Trump added that this executive action would overturn the “awful Biden orders” that forced all men to get vasectomies in the first place.

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