We gave our daughter $20,000 for a wedding, but she used it for a home down payment and paid for her own wedding. Everyone was happy.

Mike, who asked Business Insider to only use his first name for privacy reasons, estimated that a wedding in the Kansas City, Missouri, area cost between $15,000 and $25,000 at the time, around 2015.

Mike and his wife decided they could put $20,000 toward the wedding, but they “I didn’t want to be telling my daughter what she could and couldn’t do,” he said. “She was an adult.”

Mike said the strategy took pressure off him and his wife and helped them avoid wrestling over who was buying what or what his daughter could or could not have.

He also said it helped them contribute the amount they wanted without going over budget by adding things here and there